We’ve all been there. At the mercy of someone else’s casual feelings towards you, in which case they probably weren’t very interested at all. However you’re left holding on, playing a mind game in hopes that if you just play your cards right they’ll see how ridiculously awesome you are and you’ll both cliche it into loveland together. But the cycle continues and you’re on to the next one as if you didn’t navigate the “game” correctly. The other day as I was meandering the internet aimlessly, and I fell right into the grasp of an article titled “Fuck Yes Or Fuck No” written by Mark Manson. This article blew my mind because it describes exactly the situation I just mentioned using a term called “the grey area”. The grey area is where the feelings between two people are in an ambiguous zone or one person has stronger feelings than the other. Most dating advice exists to solve the grey area when in actuality the article talks about how we should never really subject ourselves to the grey area in the first place. How we do that is by using what Manson calls the laws of fuck yes or fuck no.
Let me explain: the rules decree that both parties must be equally enthusiastic about one another to enter into a courtship. Truly it is all just seems all so obvious yet we subject ourselves anyways. When we ditch the grey zone all together we are benefitting and gaining a number of advantages. When you follow the laws of FYOFN, you’re empowering yourself in the following ways.
- You’re no longer strung along by people who feel the need to waste your time and therefore don’t feel disappointed. You practice self-respect and become the rejector as opposed to the rejectee regardless of the situation.
- You’re allowing the other person the same respect by not pursuing others who you were so-so about because there was nothing better around at the time.
- You always know where you and the other person stand. This means that both people are on the same page, therefore games, guessing and plotting goes out the window.
- Enforcing strong personal boundaries makes you more confident and confidence is attractive.
So when you’re in the horridly common situation you should forever abandon ship and remember, “If you don’t like me it’s mind over matter; I don’t mind and you don’t matter”.
Sources via http://markmanson.net // Recommended reading for a full grasp on the law of “fuck yes or fuck no”.